1. Andy Dick is off the hook for pulling down an underage girl’s shirt last month. The DA says, “We found that his actions were more in line with an assault than a sexual battery. It didn’t appear to be an overt sexual act.”

2. Hayden Panettiere is blaming a fame-whoring cop for that little incident where her dad got arrested for hitting her mom. She says, “it was blown way out of proportion by a sheriff who wanted his fifteen minutes of fame. My family is so wonderful — so very happy. We’re all great.”

3. Contrary to previous reports, the Beckhams were not involved in a car crash. David writes on his blog, “I know many of you would have been concerned to read about a supposed car crash involving me and Victoria. I want to assure everyone there never was any crash at any time; our car had been dented many days before whilst vacant in a car park.” That’s good. We were all so concerned when we thought David almost missed his flight to the Olympics.

4. After all the back and forth between Michael and Lindsay Lohan, Michael is now telling TV Guide that he’s planning on taping a TV special to set the record straight. He’ll be on with phone and text messages to prove something. I don’t even know what anymore.

5. Hilary Duff’s dad Bob is out of jail already, after serving only 1 day of his 10 day sentence. He still has to pay for Hilary’s birthday party though.