Contrary to rumors, Tom Cruise is not dead, and Stevie Wonder’s house did not burn down. WTF is it, make up celebrity rumors day?

I wanna play! OK ready?

Everyone thinks Madonna is getting it on with A-rod, and planning a trip to Malawi with him (to probably find another baby), but I call false on those rumors. My source (it meows, does it count?) says that The Material Girl is actually getting it on with Tea Leoni. That whole Billy Bob Thornton thing? Totally a cover up. Oh yeah, and John Tesh is dead.

Update: I called it.  Billy Bob is now denying having an affair with Tea.  Looks like Tea’s cover up fell through.