Tina Fey has lots to say in the latest issue of Vanity Fair. In it, she talks about how much it sucks to be fat (her career took off only after dropping 30 pounds with Weight Watchers), and how she remained a virgin into her 20s (noooo!)

Tina’s husband Jeff Richmond also tells a little story about the mystery facial slashing that she endured when she was five that left her with her signature scar. He says,

It was in, like, the front yard of her house, and somebody who just came up, and she just thought somebody marked her with a pen.

That scar was fascinating to me. This is somebody who, no matter what it was, has gone through something. And I think it really informs the way she thinks about her life. When you have that kind of thing happen to you, that makes you scared of certain things, that makes you frightened of different things, your comedy comes out in a different kind of way, and it also makes you feel for people.

Tina adds,

It’s impossible to talk about it without somehow seemingly exploiting it and glorifying it.

And no one is trying to figure out who this mystery slasher is? Let me begin my investigation. My trenchcoat and detective hat, please.