Hugh Hefner’s former girlfriends have been doing a lot of talking lately. The latest blabber comes from Kendra Wilkinson, who recently dished to Us Weekly about some interesting Hef secrets.

Kendra tells Us that even though she was Hef’s “girlfriend”, she really only saw the geezer in passing, and was never alone with him on dates. She also says that they were “intimate”, but never mentions that they ever had sex. She even says that Hef’s other two gfs, Bridget and Holly were both “faithful” to him, but that she couldn’t be because she just needed a good fuck once in a while, which Hef couldn’t provide.

Kendra also says that Hugh would keep tabs on her, making his staff clock her in and out times at the mansion, but in return, she got an allowance of $1,000 per week from Hef, making him a pretty awesome “sugar daddy”.

So let me get this straight, you don’t have sex with the old dude (because he can’t), you don’t even have to spend time alone with him, he wants to know where you are at all times, but obviously doesn’t do a great job at it since even Hahhahahahahah-Olive-Garden-Kendra was able to sneak off for sex on occasion, and for all this, you get $1,000 per week, free food, and a free place to crash? Application, please.