First went the veggie sex, now the Playboy party is also reportedly out.  Hugh Hefner, hard hit by the economy, has decided to cancel his ninth annual Playboy Super Bowl party, the last remaining semblance of sex during the big day.

This move will unfortunately force millions of Americans to settle for beer and football on Sunday.  ‘What about those sexy chicken wings?’, you ask.  Yeah, those are out of the question too.  We hear there’s a shortage this year.