While /Film reports the winners at the Oscars, we here at /Gossip talk fashion!  Here’s a rundown of the biggest WTF outfits at the Oscars tonight. Our comic above illustrates the best of the bunch.  We’ve included links below for those who care to see the real thing.

1. Whoopi Goldberg wore a leopard to the show.  Yes, a real leopard, yes the whole thing, minus the head.

2. Sarah Jessica Parker showed up with a dress that pushed her boobs to astronomical places, and just barely shielded her nipples, thank god.

3. Queen Latifah got swallowed by a big black oil slick before showing up to the awards.

4. Jessica Biel simply wore the sheets that she and Justin Timberlake did it in today.

5. Miley Cyrus was trying to fight her way out of the fish with huge scales that swallowed her earlier today.  She decided to wear the fish rather than be late to the Oscars.

6. Mickey Rourke, the only man who made our list, apparently forgot to take his Hot Topic wallet chains out of his pocket prior to arrival.

7. Beyonce was nearly eaten whole by a giant black mermaid just minutes before red carpet time, but she did manage to make the call.  Unfortunately, she was unable to stop the mermaid from doing something horrible to her butt.

8. Vanessa Hudgens was attacked by Beyonce’s mermaid’s sister, but this one fortunately spared her butt.

“Animal/mythical creature attacks” was apparently the theme at this year’s show.