It looks like our dream of seeing Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag get carted off to the crazy house may soon be a reality. The world’s favorite couple made an appearance on Alex Jones’ radio show Infowars to yammer about The Hills, politics, and birth control. Here are just a few quotes that we particularly enjoyed.

Heidi on human microchiping: “This is very serious. It says in the Bible this is the mark of the beast, and that is a sign of worshipping the Devil. So over my dead body would I ever get a chip in my body. My body belongs to Jesus Christ. I am a disciple of Jesus, and I will speak out to Christians….this chip is the end of humanity.”

Heidi on birth control: “I feel like God was telling me that this was something just created by the government that is really bad for my body, and I was just getting sick,” she says. “I researched it, and one of the founding people who invented birth control said it was the worst thing they had ever done, they wished they’d never created it, how it morally corrupted society, it’s just sickening to him. How it devalues women, how it causes depression, how it can cause cancer, how it sterilizes your body, and what it does to your body, how most women are suicidal sometimes on it.”

Spencer on 9/11 being an inside job: “It 100 percent is. I want to throw up.”

Spencer on how Lauren Conrad made the media hate Speidi: “The narrator [Lauren Conrad] didn’t get along with us. She skewed the information on the show, just like the American government can manipulate the media. We used to have a phenomenal relationship with the media, they’ve kind of turned on us now because they’ve created us into such a monstrous thing…like they made us too big, like they Obama-sized us.”

Heidi on the ending of the world: “I’ve always been a very serious Christian, and most Christians understand what’s going on. They understand they’re being persecuted. They understand this is the end of the world. They understand the New World Order, the One World Currency, is all in Revelations in the Bible, so they’re taking me very seriously and they know when I mean something, that it’s a message.”

Check out the entire interview starting at the 180-minute mark here.