By: Ellie Kam on August 3rd, 2009 at 11:00 am

We mentioned last week that Madonna’s ex-boyfriend Jim Albright was trying to auction off some erotic voice mails and letters that Madonna had sent to him during their time together in the 90’s. Now, some of the messages have been released, but aside from revealing Madonna’s shockingly un-macrobiotic eating habits at the time, we’re not so sure why anyone would bid the expected $30,000-$40,000 price for these little treasures.
In one of the letters up for auction, Madonna wrote about eating French food:
Hello, my sweet,
We’re going out to dinner with all the girls to Chez Natasha . . . I’m going to have a wonderful fattening yummy rich-in-calories French meal. My mouth is watering. [Designer Jean Paul] Gaultier says hello!
And then there are the following erotic voice mails:
12:48 p.m.: (In a sweet, girlish voice) Hello? Is anybody there? Hello? Are you still sleeping? Hello? Baby?
Umm . . . I got your letter. It was really sweet. I guess I should call you back?
Umm . . . I’m going to go running in 20 minutes. Uh . . . I’ll call you back. Maybe you’re still sleeping and the phone will wake you up. Or else, where would you be? Football game? Playing basketball? Hmmmm? I’ll call you back.
2:33 p.m.: Hi, baby. It’s me again. OK. Well, I’ll just try calling you later, or you can call me. Leave me a message. OK? Bye.
2:35 p.m.: (In an aggrieved tone) Honey, what are you doing? I know you’re there because your phone was just busy. And your phone is clicking and doing all these weird things. Now what’s wrong? Why aren’t you answering the phone?
What are you doing? What are you pissed about? What’s going on? Stop being a baby and pick up the telephone.
You can place your bid here if you have the extra cash laying around.
Also available for sale with the same auction house is a 15-minute VHS video of Madonna flashing her breasts at the camera. She also snorts something that is probably cocaine. That’s expected to bring in about $10,000.
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