Ever since Randy Quaid and his wife Evi were arrested yesterday for defrauding an innkeeper, Evi’s been slowly going more and more insane while she publicly displays her feelings towards her arresting officer, Deputy James Davis.

Earlier today, Evi releaed a statement claiming that the Presidio County cop took a bribe from her former business manager Mickey Segal and Stagehands Union worker Bob Boyett to set up a case against her and her husband. She insisted that Mickey and Bob had been out to get her and Randy ever since the couple were booted from the Actors’ Equity Association after Randy allegedly physically and verbally abused the cast of his Broadway play, Lone Star Love.

Evi went even crazier about an hour ago, when she pulled up outside of Mayor Dan Dunlap’s office in a truck that read, “Deputy James Davis takes payments… call & make offers”. Picture of the truck available here. Deputy Davis is denying the bribery allegations, and now considering legal action against Evi for libel.

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We were kind of surprised to hear Elle UK defending Lindsay Lohan when she was accused of stealing their jewels in June.  Now for whatever reason though, those editors are starting to talk about the royal pain in the ass that was LiLo.  Lorraine Candy, editor-in-chief of Elle UK wrote in the new issue,

Lindsay Lohan wrote me a note during this month’s cover shoot.

It read: ‘Let’s do it again some time.’ I’ve put it on my office wall because, in all honesty, I don’t know if I could. This was the most unpredictable, and confusing shoot in my magazine career.

First, Lindsay was about to arrive. Then she was in Paris. She was almost on set, then she disappeared into her hotel room.

She was ready for her interview, then she had to have a fake tan! But we got there.

And then somebody stole $45,000 worth of jewelry…

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Mischa Barton, who’s fresh out of the loony bin was spotted having another paranoid break-down during a dinner with friends last weekend.

Sources told the New York Post today that on Saturday night, Mischa and her friends were having dinner at Sant Ambroeus in the West Village when she got on the phone and began ranting about being stalked. Mischa ignored her friends who were attempting to calm her down, and ran outside to chain smoke.

Mischa was then spotted at the Carrera Summer Escape party the next night in a gross-looking tight black dress which someone accidentally spilled a drink on. She’s reportedly back at work now on the set of the CW show, The Beautiful Life.

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Lindsay Lohan met with the press once again the other day to play down rumors that she had recently been starving herself to lose weight. She told E!, “I’ve been eating enough.”

US Weekly did a little digging though, and found that Lindsay had indeed been eating… eating Adderall. One of Lindsay’s so-called friends told the mag,

She takes Adderall all the time. She gets jittery because of the way the pills affect her. It’s a major reason why she’s losing weight.

Lindsay also told E! that being newly single has allowed her to focus on rebuilding her career.  She ended the interview by begging Pharrell to work with her on a new album.  Lindsay said, “Pharell, please call me back!”

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Lindsay Lohan recently expressed interest in buying the rights to Stevie Nicks’ story, so that she could play the Fleetwood Mac singer on film (probably because no one would actually choose to cast Linds for the role).

Stevie, who is one of Lindsay’s many idols, has lashed out against the idea, however, telling reporters,

Over my dead body. She needs to stop doing drugs and get a grip. Then maybe we’ll talk.

This is only the latest of a series of set-backs for the actress, which include going broke, losing her girlfriend, getting into car accidents, and alienating many of her famous friends.

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The people over at Us Weekly somehow convinced Lindsay Lohan to do a tell-all interview about her split with Samantha Ronson.  In the article, Linds tells reporters that her life is now in shambles, with the loss of her girlfriend, money, career, and celebrity friends.

Us Weekly reports that their interview was conducted partially over the phone, where Lindsay was “agitated, crying and baffled by the turn of events”.  She describes her life today as “absolute hell”, and says,

I’m not a bad person and this is what happens.  I was raised to treat people well, and I’m so tired of this drama.

Lindsay admits in the interview, that all of her former trainwreck friends have left her.  Nicole Richie reportedly walked by Lindsay at the Chateau Marmont over the weekend, and muttered “uck!” under her breath.  Drea DeMatteo also spit some not so pleasing words, yelling “come at me, bitch!” at the former actress.

Lindsay also laughs off, but doesn’t deny the claim that Sam had attempted to end the relationship several times before, only to go back after Lindsay threatened to commit suicide.

Do you think Daddy Michael Lohan is ready to step in and lock his daughter down like Jamie Spears before it’s too late?

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Apparently after only 60 days, Promises rehab center in Malibu figured Tara Reid was clean and sober and good to go, so they released the marmot back into the wild.

Tara, who is now getting reaquanted with real life, tells In Touch Magazine that “rehab saved my life”.  Now that she’s expected to be alive for quite a bit more time, moviegoers should be on high alert; marmot tells the mag that she’s excited about getting back into acting in the very near future.

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Amy Winehouse has reportedly been stealing alcohol from random guests in the Caribbean resort where she’s been vacationing half naked for the last however how long.

Amy’s management team banned Crackhead from drinking alcohol while there because of all the complaints that they received from other guests.  To get around the ban, Crackhead has been seen begging random vacationers to buy her drinks, and stealing them when she’s unsuccessful. One guest says,

We keep catching her crawling past bars, or hiding behind chairs. She grabs guests’ drinks and runs off, like a squirrel with a nut.

Crackhead is reportedly planning on staying at the resort for another two months because she’s having so much fun there.

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After seeing his wife, Amy Winehouse half naked on the beach with some wannabe actor named Joshua Bowman, Blake Fielder-Civil has gone to his lawyer to get started on those pesky divorce papers.

Amy said recently,

I’m just here on my own, happy and having a good time with Josh. I’ll deal with Blake when I get back. But our whole marriage was based on doing drugs.

Looks like Blake’s planning on dealing with Amy first. TAKE ALL HER MONEY! DO IT!

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Our comic just doesn’t do it justice. Before you say ‘pics or it didn’t happen’, The Superficial’s got that covered.  Check them out here.

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In the latest issue of Interview Magazine, Lindsay Lohan tries again to convince the world that she’s more than just an alcoholic/cokehead/lesbian/firecrotch.  She says,

What hurts me the most is that I work just as hard as any other actress around my age, like Scarlett Johansson, but I just don’t get the opportunities that they get because people are so distracted by the mess that I created in my life. But that doesn’t mean it’s going to last forever.

I mean, people really have come to believe-directors, producers, agents, whoever it may be-that I started in this because I wanted to be a celebrity. But that was never my intention….I wanted to be a movie star. But movie stars are not what they used to be. And the worst part is, in terms of what people see of me, I have become this girl who just loves to be photographed, doesn’t know how to focus, doesn’t know how to work on set, just loves the attention, knows how to go out at night, knows how to party. And you know what? I was 20 years old. I never went to college. And I lived maybe six months out of my life like that, doing something wrong, and then I stopped. God forbid I should have ever learned my lesson. But at this point it’s so hard for people to even believe that there was a lesson to be learned at all, because they just think I’m wrong.

So Lindsay Lohan is a serious actress…. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! HAHAH! HAHA!

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People Magazine reported over the weekend that Tara Reid checked out of rehab on Saturday, less than three weeks after checking in.

People’s sources claimed that Tara was doing well, and that her friends and family had plans to help keep the brainless walking drug sponge sober after her release.

Tara’s publicist, however, shot back with a statement saying that the story was false, and Tara was still in rehab.

I’m pretty sure the real story involved Tara wandering out of the facility on Saturday, prompting Tara’s people to begin a secret search for the shriveled crispy critter.  After finding Tara several hours later getting smashed in a puppy mill with aliens, she was probably led back into rehab before a statement was released about her never leaving her padded cell in the first place.

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Joaquin Phoenix, who is making his fast descent into the depths of insanity, was seen onstage at a Miami night club earlier this week, grinding Jamie Foxx. Page Six is reporting that Joaquin jumped onstage while Jamie was singing, so we’re assuming the act was not consensual on Jamie’s end.

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Alex Haines, Amy Winehouse’s former assistant, who also hooked up with her last year, has given an exclusive interview to News of the World to open up about some of Amy’s fun secrets.

Alex spills that every morning, he would make Amy buttered toast while she smoked her morning crack.  She would then cut her homemade plastic bottle crack pipes in half, and dig out the residue with a screwdriver to avoid wasting any of it.  He claims that Amy spent £3,500 per week on crack, and that she would freak out if she didn’t have a crack pipe nearby.

He also says that Amy liked cocaine, and he once witnessed her snorting a 20 cm long line to prove to her friends that she was hardcore.

Alex also opens up about Amy’s bulimia, claiming that she had a habit of binge eating McDonalds and puking it up by sticking a toothbrush down her throat.  His toothbrush, to be exact.  She also had a cutting problem, once cutting herself with a pair of scissors from her shoulder all the way down to her wrist.

His relationship with Amy began at the Brit Awards last year, where Alex claims that Amy seduced him into a room at Mark Ronson’s Henley, Oxon studio.  He says that Amy was a sex freak, and that she was like a “porn star”, always looking to get it on.

Amy dumped Alex in May when she thought Blake Fielder-Civil would be getting out of jail soon, because he’s like so much better than this douche.  Too bad Blake effed up and will probably be in jail now till 2010.  Alex says he hasn’t heard from Amy in months, which makes this the best time for a tell-all interview to some trashy UK tab.

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Blake Fielder-Civil admitted to News of the World last night that he was the one that got Amy Winehouse hooked on her steady diet of crack cocaine, and heroin. He also claims that he’s leaving her so that she can recover from her addictions. Blake says,

I made the biggest mistake of my life by taking heroin in front of her. I introduced her to heroin, crack cocaine and self-harming. I feel more than guilty.

I was old enough to know better. Heroin and crack took hold of me and f***** me up. It made me not look out for the woman that I love more than anyone else in the world.

The first time Amy took crack she asked me, ‘Can I try a bit of that’. Crack is the nastiest drug. It makes you paranoid, unreasonable, edgy and totally suspicious of everyone. And you can get hooked on it straight away. But I was weak and an addict and I let Amy take some.

I didn’t stop it from happening. For that I take full responsibility. It became something we did as well as heroin. And then our lives fell apart.

I dragged Amy into it and without me there is no doubt that she would never have gone down that road. I ruined something beautiful.

Now I have to let her go to save her life. I am not abandoning her. I am doing this out of love.

Blake also denies hooking up with German model, Sophie Schandorff. He claims she was just dating a friend of his. He then goes on and on and on like a D.A.R.E officer on crack… oh wait…

Read the rest here if you’re interested.

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