The Catholic League is condemning Joanna Krupa’s new PETA ad, because apparently Jesus is not ok with people using crosses to hide their nipples.

The organization released a statement yesterday, calling PETA “animal killers”, and accusing them of exploiting the cross for publicity. Joanna responded to the league’s statement by saying,

It’s understandable that the Catholic League is wary of another sex scandal, but the sex we’re talking about pertains to dogs and cats.

…just ignore the fact that Joanna’s naked too. She continued,

As a practicing Catholic, I am shocked that the Catholic League is speaking out against my PETA ads, which I am very proud of. I’m doing what the Catholic Church should be doing, working to stop senseless suffering of animals, the most defenseless of god’s creation.

Comment Now!

Former Scientology official, Marty Rathbun is accusing Tom Cruise of threatening to beat three disobedient Scientologists - Marc Yager, Guillaume Leserve, and Ray Mithoff, who failed to make proper confessions to their managers.

According to Marty, a few years ago, the leader of the Church of Scientology, David Miscavige berated 80-100 Scientology managers for not working hard enough to get confessions out of the three disobedient members. He announced that Tom had offered to come and “beat the living [bleep]” out of them if the managers couldn’t do the job themselves. The berated managers, afraid that Tom would be summoned, ended up aggressively beating Marc, Guillaume, and Ray.

Both Tom’s lawyer’s and the church spokesman have vigorously denied the assault. Marty, who claims to have a witness, told the New York Daily News over the weekend that he would welcome any legal attempt from the church to shut him up.

Comment Now!

Marc Headley, a guy who worked as Tom Cruise’s apprentice at the Southern California Scientology headquarters, has just released a book, titled “Blown for Good”, which reveals all of Tom’s deepest, darkest Scientology secrets.

The book exposes some of Tom’s interesting antics, including his “book-and-bottle routine”, where he would spend days yelling at books, bottles, and door knobs, in order to “rehabilitate [his] ability to control things”.

Marc worked for Tom 19 years ago, and according to him, he was hired because Tom thought he was a trustworthy person who wouldn’t go public with the story. Unfortunately, Tom was wrong. The book’s available here, in case you’re interested.

Comment Now!

Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise were spotted attending a massive Scientology party, celebrating the 25th aniversary of the International Association of Scientologiests, with their daughter Suri in England last Friday.

Sources say that when a choir took the stage, Tom began swaying back and forth to the music like an idiot. Katie looked bored, and tried to clap her hands, but was way off beat. Tom made a short speech to the crowd, and later was overheard bitching about Scientology protesters to another man at the event.

About 4,000 people were present at the event. Other celebs that made the trip included John Travolta, and his wife Kelly Preston.

Comment Now!

Jon Gosselin took a break from partying the other day, to stop by the Values to Heal America event at Central Synagogue in NYC (Hailey Glassman’s Jewish religion recently rubbed off on him).

At the event, sources say that Jon stood up and asked a few questions to the panel members, Newark NJ mayer Cory Booker, author Elie Wiesel, CNN contributor Dr. Mehmet Oz, and TLC Rabbi, Shmuley Boteach. Mainly, he wanted some advice on how to keep his kids from going astray during his nasty divorce. According to Rabbi Boteach, here’s what the panel had to say:

-Cory Booker: Be a good example to them.

-Dr. Oz: Respect other people.

-Elie Wiesel: Don’t let fame get to your head.

-Rabbi Boteach: There’s probably a good person in there somewhere. I think it might be coming out now.

Comment Now!

According to the Daily Mail, The Church of Scientology is drawing a little inspiration from Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes for their latest uniform designs.

The vampire-like threads are supposedly just giant black capes with red lining, and skirts or pants underneath. All of the designs have reportedly been approved by Tom, Katie, and church leader David Miscavige.

Comment Now!

Brad Pitt sat down with Bill Maher last week to give his thoughts on atheism and religion, politics, and rolling sweet joints.

Comment Now!

The evil Omarosa is changing her life for the big guy in the sky. According to the Associated Press, the former Apprentice contestant is going into an Ohio seminary.

The United Theological Seminary in Dayton confirmed today that Omarosa would be starting her 2-year ministry study on Monday. The associate dean for African-American studies Ivan Hicks told the AP,

She has expressed a calling in her life and it is our opportunity to provide leadership and guidance as she makes a transformation. We’re excited about her coming to school at UTS.

According to Ivan, Omarosa got interested in signing up after doing work with homeless people in Haiti.

Comment Now!

Madonna is currently making plans to send her four kids to Auschwitz concentration camp when her tour makes a stop in Poland later this month. She won’t be leaving them there though. She’s reportedly just hoping to let them tour the camp and learn about its history. According to a source,

It won’t be an easy trip but it is an ultimate life affirming experience, and one Madonna – because of her strong Kaballah beliefs – does not want to ignore.

She wants her children to appreciate how lucky they are and to learn about mistakes made in the past.

Comment Now!

Brad Pitt recently opened up to German magazine Bild about his refusal to believe in imaginary creatures. The actor told the mag,

I’m probably 20 percent atheist and 80 percent agnostic. I don’t think anyone really knows [if there's a god]. You’ll either find out or not when you get there, until then there’s no point thinking about it.

So there you have it. Brad Pitt was able to score a hot girlfriend, six multi-colored kids, and a lucrative career just by being totally awesome.

Comment Now!

Mel Gibson apparently got sick and tired of waiting quietly for the churchgoers at his chosen place of worship to stop gossiping in the pews about his out-of-wedlock soon-to-be baby with composer Oksana Grigorieva. After weeks of silence, the actor finally flipped out at the congregation of the Holy Family Chapel in Agoura Hills, CA last Sunday.

One source told RadarOnline,

[He] paced back and forth, furiously telling the congregation that he would not stand by and be judged and scrutinized.

Another churchgoer added,

Mel got up on his stage — the altar — and went off. He tried to intimidate the parishioners by staring at everyone with his angry eyes. Mel even threatened to shut down the church if people kept gossiping about him. The bottom line is that if Mel hadn’t cheated on his wife and gotten his Russian girlfriend pregnant, there wouldn’t be much to gossip about – he created this mess, and now he’s trying to control it.

 Loading ...

Comment Now!

DMX, who spent the past ten years in and out of prison for charges ranging from animal cruelty to drug possession, is now reportedly planning on turning his life around, and no, he’s not going the rehab route. Instead, he’s creating a Christian TV show where he plans to preach the holy word to a congregation of church-goers. DMX tells reporters,

I’m gonna start a TV show called Pain and Perseverance, it’s about how I can reach people that the average person can’t reach because I’m grounded.

I’m going to give my first sermon in the church. That’s going to be incredible for me and hopefully the congregation of that church.

Apparently this is DMX’s second attempt at turning to Jesus. In 2003, the rapper briefly quit his music career to pursue a life as a preacher. Unfortunately, his time in the church was cut short when he was arrested for cocaine possession, criminal possession of a weapon, criminal impersonation, criminal mischief, menacing, attempting to carjack a vehicle, and driving under the influence of drugs or alcohol while claiming to be a federal agent outside of JFK airport in 2004.

Comment Now!

Apparently, without study technology, Tom Cruise would be a stupid untalented loser with dyslexia. With it, he’s an actor, producer, pilot, owner of three companies, and life-long learner.

We’re still not sure what exactly study technology is, but based on Tom’s speech, we’re guessing it has something to do with either robot replacements or brain transplants.

Comment Now!

It looks like Madonna is looking to take her midlife crisis to the next level.  The recently divorced queen of pop is reportedly planning a “commitment ceremony” with her new lover, 22-year-old bug-eyed model from Brazil, Jesus Luz.

The couple are planning on tying the knot, Kabbalah style in front of a rabbi at the Kabbalah center in NYC.

According to friends, Madonna is hoping to give Jesus some of that love that she wasn’t able to shower on the 3-year-old Malawian girl that she failed to adopt last month.

The not at all creepy relationship has supposedly been accepted by all of Madonna’s children.  One of her friends even tells reporters that Madonna’s confused 12-year-old, Lourdes has even started calling Jesus “The Babysitter”.  The source adds, “She likes him, but also likes winding him up.”  Judging by the picture above, we’re pretty sure Lourdes’ mommy likes winding up Jesus as well.

Comment Now!

Remember Eliot Spitzer’s call girl, Ashley Dupre? We’re hearing some rather surprising news about the former high-class slut. Sources have revealed exclusively to /Gossip that Ashley has decided to turn her life around, and has been visiting convents, with the intention of becoming a nun.

In addition to sleeping with Eliot Spitzer, Ashley’s resume includes a Girls Gone Wild video, and a possible masturbation sex tape.

Ashley has been spotted this past week, by our spies, visiting New Jersey area convents, and sitting in on prayer sessions and meetings with area nuns.

APRIL FOOLS!

Comment Now!