Remember Eliot Spitzer’s call girl, Ashley Dupre? We’re hearing some rather surprising news about the former high-class slut. Sources have revealed exclusively to /Gossip that Ashley has decided to turn her life around, and has been visiting convents, with the intention of becoming a nun.

In addition to sleeping with Eliot Spitzer, Ashley’s resume includes a Girls Gone Wild video, and a possible masturbation sex tape.

Ashley has been spotted this past week, by our spies, visiting New Jersey area convents, and sitting in on prayer sessions and meetings with area nuns.

APRIL FOOLS!

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Tom Cruise tries to act like a normal person on his second try at doing a Matt Lauer interview.  The first time around, he told Matt that psychiatry was a “pseudo-science”.

In this interview, Tom also talks about his new film, Valkyrie, touches on whether or not he’ll be expanding his family, and reflects on marking his 25th year as an actor.

See round 1 below. Way more entertaining, don’t you think?

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In a recent interview with Marie Claire, Jessica Simpson revealed that she would love to go to college to study theology. She says,

I’ve been contemplating taking a college course in religion. I love religion. I remember whenever the book The Da Vinci Code came out, the Discovery Channel did this three-night piece on it that I Tivoed and then watched eight times.

Great. Maybe she can learn which came first, the chicken or the tuna? Eggs? Those have nothing to do with chickens. Those come from the Easter bunny.

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The Sun is reporting that Michael Jackson has converted. He’s now Muslim! Yay. Even better, the man without a nose is changing his name to Mikaeel.

Sources reveal that Wacko was seen at a friend’s LA mansion, on the floor in a tiny hat, pledging his allegiance to the Koran.

He’s apparently converting because he used his Muslim friend’s studio to record a new album, and the friend convinced him to change his religion.

The friend originally wanted to change Michael’s name to Mustafa, but Wacko refused, instead, settling on the name Mikaeel.

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The NY Post is reporting that Prince (yes like the symbol) is going door to door, trying to convert his neighbors to Jehovah’s Witnesses. The pop star joined the religion about 2 years ago, and says that for him, the conversion was “a realization. It’s like Morpheous and Neo in ‘The Matrix’”.

If Prince showed up at my door to convert me, I would throw some pumpkins at his face and be like “bring it on, bitch.”

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Heidi Klum, who dressed as the Hindu Goddess Kali for Halloween this year has reportedly pissed off some Hindu-American Leaders over her mockery of their sacred religious figure. Good going, HEIDIIII…

Indo-American statesman Rajan Zed says,

Goddess Kali is highly revered in Hinduism and she is meant to be worshipped in temples and not to be used in clubs for publicity stunts or thrown around loosely for dramatic effects.

Hindus welcome Hollywood and other entertainment industries to immerse themselves in Hinduism, but they should take it seriously and respectfully, and not just use the religion for decoration or to advance their selfish agenda. Casual flirting sometimes results in pillaging serious spiritual doctrines and revered symbols and hurting the devotees

And why did Klum decide to enrage Hindus everywhere for this very special holiday? She said in an interview,

It was actually my assistant’s idea. [Seal] and I were in India last year, so she said, ‘Why don’t you do an Indian goddess? Like a scary Indian goddess?’ And I said ‘OK!’ So then she Googled around and she found Kali and showed me a picture, and I loved it. I loved it because she’s so mean and killed all these different people and [had] fingers hanging off [her] and little shrunken heads everywhere.

Hindu scholars now want dumbass with the extra fingers and shrunken heads to issue an apology for being so stupid.

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Pink is reportedly considering joining the church of Scientology to help her cope with her split with Carey Hart.  Apparently, her friend Juliette Lewis is introducing her to the cult.  A source tells Star Magazine,

Pink is in the beginning stages of checking out the religion, but she has taken to it and she wants to get more involved.

More food for Xenu.  Om nom nom nom.

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