Ever since its launch, GOOP had always prided itself for being a sweet, innocent boring website made by old lady Gwyneth Paltrow, right after she managed to figure out this whole internet thing. The sucktastic website, usually full of pretentious recipes, travel ramblings and exercise tips was interrupted sometime yesterday though, when Gwyn posted a rather shocking rant, admitting joy upon hearing about the pain of her “frenemy”. The note was, of course posted on a pastel green page with a butterfly at the top. The message read,
Back in the day, I had a “frenemy” who, as it turned out, was pretty hell-bent on taking me down. This person really did what they could to hurt me. I was deeply upset, I was angry, I was all of those things you feel when you find out that someone you thought you liked was venomous and dangerous. I restrained myself from fighting back. I tried to take the high road. But one day I heard that something unfortunate and humiliating had happened to this person. And my reaction was deep relief and…happiness.
Gwyneth did keep a little bit of her dignity, by not posting the name of said “frenemy”. We think her name probably rhymes with Badonna. This person was recently spotted sulking around town after she was not allowed to buy a certain baby to add to her child collection.
Other people are guessing Winona Ryder who was caught shoplifting at Saks Fifth Avenue in 2001. They might be right, but we get much pleasure from thinking the worst of people, so we’ll stick with our pick.
