Lindsay Lohan was kicked out of the Bowery Hotel in NYC the other night after she got in a huge fight with her girlfriend Samantha Ronson and launched a room service tray at Sam’s hotel room as ammunition.

Unfortunately, what Lindsay thought was Sam’s room was actually some other guy’s room. The guy reported Lindsay to security, and claimed she assaulted him. Security then promptly removed Lindsay from the hotel.

Rumor has it that Lindsay’s friends and family members are now planning on staging another intervention. They’re eager to get her crazy ass back into rehab.

Comment Now!

Samantha Ronson just can’t seem to quit Lindsay Lohan. The lesbian DJ was spotted arriving at Lindsay’s London hotel room (yes, Lindsay stalked Sam all the way to London) after partying at Bungalow 8 with her brother Mark last night.

Lindsay and Sam reportedly spent the rest of the night holed up together in the room. As far as we know, no yelling or crying was heard, and as of now, nothing has been reported broken.

This comes after Lindsay spent the better part of her last month stalking accompanying the DJ around the world. The ex-couple have been seen playing sleepover more and more in recent weeks.

Comment Now!

When we reported yesterday that some of Lindsay Lohan’s friends had been running around claiming that the “actress” was pregnant with an undetermined man’s baby, we’re sure many of you were wondering if the father could possibly have been Samantha Ronson. Well SamRon officially took herself out of the running today by telling paps that the kid “sure as hell ain’t mine”.

We still think Lindsay should fight for a DNA test. How else will she feed her spawn?

Comment Now!

According to one of Lindsay Lohan’s “friends”, Firecrotch is currently seven weeks pregnant with one of the random post-SamRon guys that she’s been sleeping with.

Lindsay has reportedly already scheduled an abortion for sometime this week, but is still trying to decide whether or not to go through with it.

How do we know the source is telling the truth?  “I swear”, she says.

Comment Now!

Lindsay Lohan met with the press once again the other day to play down rumors that she had recently been starving herself to lose weight. She told E!, “I’ve been eating enough.”

US Weekly did a little digging though, and found that Lindsay had indeed been eating… eating Adderall. One of Lindsay’s so-called friends told the mag,

She takes Adderall all the time. She gets jittery because of the way the pills affect her. It’s a major reason why she’s losing weight.

Lindsay also told E! that being newly single has allowed her to focus on rebuilding her career.  She ended the interview by begging Pharrell to work with her on a new album.  Lindsay said, “Pharell, please call me back!”

Comment Now!

Samantha Ronson was reportedly so pissed when she realized that a club she had signed on to DJ last night was actually a strip joint, that she asked the owners to force the strippers to keep their clothes on until she was done with her set.

SamRon showed up at the Sapphire Gentlemen’s Club in NYC last night under the impression that she was playing the opening of a restaurant or bar, but realized what she was really in for when she noticed topless and body-painted dancers performing at the establishment.  She played her set as she had agreed to do, and ignored the dancers slutting it up in front of her.

Sam apparently wasn’t the only one duped into attending.  Pamela Anderson and Shannen Doherty both also reportedly showed up confused.  Shannen told reporters,

I had no idea it was a strip club! They told me it was a restaurant or club, so I was kind of in shock.

Shannen left shortly after realizing where she was. Pam was supposedly so pissed about the deal that she refused to even talk to reporters about the incident.

Comment Now!

Lindsay Lohan visited Samantha Ronson at her house yesterday, and according to photographers at the scene, she spent about 6 hours at the home before leaving quietly after.

The paparazzi camped outside of Sam’s Hollywood Hills residence were disappointed to note that no screaming, yelling or throwing of random household objects was heard coming from inside.

In some slightly more important related news, Sam’s Facebook relationship status was changed from “single” to “it’s complicated” early this morning.

1 Comment »

Lindsay Lohan sat down with Ellen Degeneres yesterday to talk about her break-up with Samantha Ronson, and as you can imagine, she tried, but was inevitably unable to use the interview to salvage her reputation.

During the talk, Lindsay spoke all about what it was like getting dicked over by a woman who didn’t even possess a physical dick.  Lindsay said,

[Break-ups are hard] when you don’t know you’re breaking up… really weird. I had no idea what was going on. I just hadn’t seen her in like, a week. She like, disappeared.

Lindsay then continued on about the humiliation she went through after being banned from Charlotte Ronson’s party at the Chateau Marmont.  She also delved into what it was like dealing with the threat of facing a restraining order from the Ronson family. Lindsay finally ended the interview by confirming her sucker status, saying that after taking all that crap, “Samantha and I are friends. We’re talking”.

Despite all her neediness and batshit insanity however, Lindsay still made one last feeble attempt to throw another drop of glue onto her crumbling image.  She concluded,

Everything is really moving and going on and it feels really good. I’m ready to work. I’m responsible and I can be on time and I learn from my mistakes.

Comment Now!

Scratch that eHarmony ad, it looks like Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson are giving the old relationship another try (again).  Linds reportedly met up with Sam at the Beverly Hills Hotel last night.

After the rendezvous, Lindsay told the ever-present paparazzi, “I just saw her”. When asked what they spoke about, Linds replied, “How much she missed me. And I love her”.

Do you think they had sex?

Comment Now!

While Lindsay Lohan was out drinking vodka from the bottle, dying her hair, screaming and crying and getting tattoos with her mom and little sister, Samantha Ronson had reportedly already replaced her with a hopefully less dramatic female companion.

Sources spotted the DJ at the Chateau Marmont last week, getting close with a dark-haired girl who looked an awful lot like Lindsay.

One of SamRon’s friends also came forward, claiming that the girl, possibly named Cindy was also hanging around Sam’s LA pad last Sunday.

Perhaps the robotics geniuses have come out with a Lindsay 2.0 robot for Sam’s personal pleasure?

Comment Now!

E! Online caught Lindsay Lohan out and about with her little sister Ali (who doesn’t seem to ever go to school) on Tuesday. When asked, Lindsay told reporters that she and Samantha Ronson weren’t broken up, and that they were just taking a short break.

Linds was later spotted waiting outside of the Chateau Marmont in a limo, trying to catch Sam as she was leaving the building. Sources reported finally seeing Sam getting into a car, and Lindsay’s limo pulling out to follow Sam’s vehicle home in true stalker style.

Comment Now!

While Lindsay Lohan was whining about her break-up with Samantha Ronson, she accidentally slipped out a bit of information about working on a clothing line with J.C. Penney.

In her tell-all interview with Us Weekly, Lindsay mentioned that she was invited to Sam’s sister Charlotte’s party by J.C. Penney, who she claimed she was closing a deal with in the near future. Sam’s family had accused Lindsay of crashing the event.  Lindsay is instead claiming that the family merely misunderstood, and that she had actually showed up there for a scheduled business meeting with the retail chain.  Lindsay said,

I wasn’t invited? J.C. Penney invited me. I’m closing a deal with them. I’m going to talk to J.C. Penney.

What shitious clothing item do you think Lindsay is working on with Penney’s?

Comment Now!

Lindsay Lohan must have threatened to kill herself again. Samantha Ronson sent her lawyer out to tell the press this morning that she has decided against filing a restraining order to keep her crazy ex-girlfriend away.

The Beverly Hills Police Department confirmed yesterday that SamRon’s mother and sister Charlotte showed up at the station to get information on how to obtain a protective order on Monday. They told officers that they were concerned because Lindsay was cutting herself, trying to force her way into Charlotte’s birthday party, and even stalking their brother Mark.

Comment Now!

The people over at Us Weekly somehow convinced Lindsay Lohan to do a tell-all interview about her split with Samantha Ronson.  In the article, Linds tells reporters that her life is now in shambles, with the loss of her girlfriend, money, career, and celebrity friends.

Us Weekly reports that their interview was conducted partially over the phone, where Lindsay was “agitated, crying and baffled by the turn of events”.  She describes her life today as “absolute hell”, and says,

I’m not a bad person and this is what happens.  I was raised to treat people well, and I’m so tired of this drama.

Lindsay admits in the interview, that all of her former trainwreck friends have left her.  Nicole Richie reportedly walked by Lindsay at the Chateau Marmont over the weekend, and muttered “uck!” under her breath.  Drea DeMatteo also spit some not so pleasing words, yelling “come at me, bitch!” at the former actress.

Lindsay also laughs off, but doesn’t deny the claim that Sam had attempted to end the relationship several times before, only to go back after Lindsay threatened to commit suicide.

Do you think Daddy Michael Lohan is ready to step in and lock his daughter down like Jamie Spears before it’s too late?

Comment Now!

Lindsay Lohan decided to shake off that restraining order that Samantha Ronson’s family was filing against her last night, by going out partying with some friends (including mom, Dina) at H Wood last night.

Meanwhile, her famewhoring daddy Michael Lohan finally released this statement about his daughter:

From what I know from my conversations with Linds, she loves Sam but it is over. As for Dina, she does nothing but take care of herself. Linds says that she is more of a mother to Dina than Dina to her. IF Dina would put ALL the kids first, instead of her own self interests and her own family, most of this would not have happened. It’s about time Dina holds herself accountable and admits her wrongs. SHE single handedly is ultimately responsible for destroying Lindsay’s career and her well being. Turning her head in order to please Lindsay and stay on her good side was not and is not the answer. She knows that LINDSAY AND THE KIDS RELIED ON ME and I was the strength, but she couldn’t give up control or her pride. It’s a shame But now FINALLY Lindsay will get on with her life and career and put them both back where God wants and Lindsay deserves. She is a good person with a wonderful heart. HURT BUT NOT BROKEN.

Note: All that terrible spelling and grammar is Michael’s doing, not ours.

Comment Now!