Prepare your pukebags. The Daily Beast leaked this year’s salaries for The Hills’ cast members online today, and it looks like everyone got a pretty fat raise from MTV. Here’s their rundown:

Kristin Cavallari: $90,000 per episode
Audrina Patridge: $100,000 per episode
Lo Bosworth: $100,000 per episode
Heidi Montag: $100,000 per episode
Spencer Pratt: $65,000 per episode
Brody Jenner: $45,000 per episode

Last year, their salaries were leaked at:

Lauren Conrad: $125,000 per episode
Heidi Montag: $65,000 per episode
Spencer Pratt: $65,000 per episode
Audrina Patridge: $35,000 per episode
Whitney Port: $20,000 per episode
Brody Jenner: $10,000 per episode
Lo Bosworth: $10,000 per episode
Stephanie Pratt: $8,000 per episode

The Hills was MTV’s highest-rated show last season, with over 3 million people tuning in to watch the scripted drama, and that’s just follwing LC’s boring life. This season, they’re supposedly banking on Kristin’s bitchiness to really rake the ratings in.

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The new Hills trailer came out yesterday. You can watch it here. We’re scared because it looks like Heidi Montag is seriously considering multiplying with Spencer Pratt.

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The Hills are getting old for everyone. Audrina Patridge recently told reporters that she’ll be following her former castmate LC, and dropping out of the show in the near future. Audrina said,

I’m almost done with The Hills. We’re in the middle of finishing these episodes, and I’ll be leaving then. It feels like I’m graduating. I’m taking the next step and growing up and maturing and moving on in my life.

Apparently what she really wants to do now is act.

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MTV has reportedly put a big stop sign on Audrina Patridge’s interest in appearing on the next season of Dancing With The Stars. A source told E! yesterday,

Audrina wants to do it. Everyone around her wants her to do it. But MTV, for some reason, won’t make it happen. Why wouldn’t they want someone from The Hills on such a huge show?

MTV cited scheduling conflicts as the reason for their decision. According to E! however, DWTS shoots only on Mondays and Tuesdays, which are Audrina’s days off on The Hills.

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MTV has just signed on to do a new reality show, which will follow The Hills’ Audrina Patridge’s developing “career” (doing burger ads in bikinis and pretending to work in the music biz).  It will also follow Audrina’s personal life - Justin Bobby and beyond.

According to Entertainment Weekly, The Audrina Show (working title) will be produced by Mark Burnett, and is set to begin airing this fall. Kristin Cavallari, who has just signed on to do the next season of The Hills, will also have a role in Audrina’s new “reality” project.

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Lauren Conrad shattered everybody’s reality today by admitting on The View that The Hills was all fake.  Apparently even Spencer’s apology to her didn’t really happen. Gasp!

Lauren also spoke with the girls about her new book LA Candy, her body image, and other future plans.

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Stephanie Pratt took a little payout from US Weekly to give them their headline of the year: “The Hills Made Me Bulimic”.

Spencer Pratt’s former meth-head sister sat down recently with the mag to spill about her struggle to stay as thin as her co-stars on the show. According to Stephanie,

The producers never put pressure on us to lose weight, [but] it’s embarrassing working with skinny girls. I was horrified. I remember saying, ‘I can’t believe how huge I look walking over to Lauren.

Stephanie, whose weight ballooned to 100 lbs after binge eating, also added that her terrible self image even led her at one point to attempt suicide. Apparently she was unsuccessful.

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We mentioned last month that The Hills’ writers were planning a Justin Bobby/Kristin Cavallari romance for the next season of the show.  Well now it looks like Justin was finally made aware of the new story line.

At the MTV Movie Awards last night, Justin hinted at a future hook-up by telling reporters, “We’re acquaintances at the moment.”  When asked why Audrina had a problem with Kristin, Justin backed Kristin by saying,

There’s obvious reasons why…She’s actually cool, she’s a professional… she’s ready to do it, a lot of people get scared, static people kind of freeze up, but she’s ready to go.

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Paris Hilton is so smart that she knows The Hills is fake, even without ever watching the show.

As you may recall, Paris’ boyfriend Doug Reinhardt was previously cast as Lauren Conrad’s boyfriend on the scripted “reality” show. According to Paris, the show is so dumb that Doug won’t be popping up in any more episodes. Paris says,

The show is, like, so lame and fake. He doesn’t even want to be a part of it. They make up relationships when they’re not there, and he just thinks it’s lame. I’ve never seen the show in my life. I have no idea what it’s about. But he just thought it was cheesy.

Even though Doug has shunned The Hills for good, he hasn’t given up on all reality TV. He’ll be making appearances on the second season of Paris’ not fake or lame show, Paris Hilton’s My New BFF, which starts airing next week.

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The Hills’ producers have already reportedly begun working on story lines for next season’s episodes of the MTV “reality” show, and one of the secret plots, according to US Weekly, involves former Laguna Beach star Kristin Cavallari getting it on with Audrina Patridge’s scrubby ex, Justin Bobby.

It seems though, that the cast members have yet to see their scripts, so Kristin apparently doesn’t even know yet that she’ll be required to touch Justin Bobby in the near future.

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Lauren Conrad, who recently downgraded her clothing line to Kohl’s is, according to several sources, starting to now realize that life after The Hills really has not much good to offer. One friend says,

She kind of realized, especially in this economy, there’s not much else out there for her. What else can she do that would earn as much?

Last month, the MTV producers instructed LC to lie about not attending the Speidi wedding, so we wouldn’t exactly rule out a casting fib as well.

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Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt called into their BFF Ryan Seacrest’s radio show this morning to give the low down on their current plans as a married couple.

The pair are reportedly in Mexico right now, shooting a music video for Heidi’s now single, Sex Ed. Unfortunately for us, Spencer mentioned that they’ve both been wearing face masks in public, and Heidi told Ryan that they’ve been washing their hands regularly.

Speidi also told Ryan all about their honey moon plans, which naturally, are up to the MTV producers.  Spencer said,

I think we’re discussing with MTV going to Tahiti or Fiji, somewhere tropical and exciting.  [But] since it is a recession, we might just be going to Santa Monica Beach.

When asked about their wedding, Heidi told Ryan,

All of our friends and family were there, and they were so loving and supportive. There were so many fans that were waiting outside, screaming when we came out. We appreciate their support. It was amazing and beautiful. The ceremony, having my dad walk me down the aisle, having Spencer there, it was the best day of my life. It was amazing.

The ceremony reportedly wasn’t so amazing for all of their guests, however.  Some were complaining about the late start due to a failed power generator at the church which halted MTV’s production, and you know, you can’t start the wedding until The Hills can get their shots.

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Looks like Heidi Montag, Spencer Pratt, and a few MTV producers are getting geared up for their big closed-set season finale taping of The Hills tomorrow (AKA take 2 of the fake Speidi wedding). Here is a list of things they’re doing in preparation for the big day:

1. Sending around fliers to residents living near the Westminster Presbyterian Church in Pasadena California, asking them to sign some papers, allowing MTV film crews to shut down several streets and sidewalks in the area.

2. Putting up “No Parking” signs to keep paparazzi from “parking and hiding out in their cars” to snag photos of the big moment.

3. Sending out notices asking neighbors to be aware that filming of “interior and exterior dialogue” for an “untitled reality TV project” will be taking place tomorrow from 7AM to 10PM.

4. Asking area residents to notify MTV producers of any scheduled landscaping or construction work being done during shoot times.

That sounds like a fairly normal wedding to me.

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After leading everyone on to believe that their fake real wedding would be last weekend, Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt are now reportedly setting a new fake wedding date for next Saturday.

This ceremony will take place at the Westminster Presbyterian Church in Pasadena California, but according to sources, it won’t be any more legally binding than Speidi’s original wedding in Cabo. One source says,

It’s all set up by the producers of MTV to get people to watch. It’s just a plot line. They’re not really getting married, of course.

Since Spencer has finally admitted to starting that old sex tape rumor that wiped out LC’s friendship with Heidi, LC obviously won’t be in attendance on the closed set, but other Hills cast members Brody, Stephanie, Holly, Audrina, and even Lo will be present for the big day.

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It looks like Spencer Pratt’s having a great time smearing himself all over the news these days.  Penishead recently spoke out about his undying love for The Hills, his plans on running for public office, and how much he enjoys looking like a giant douche.  Here are some of our favorite quotes:

On being a big douche: Honestly, I have more fun smiling for the cameras with Heidi in cheesy situations than I do with pretty much anything else. But you know what I said to Heidi? People started taking it for granted. We don’t want to abuse it. It’s too special to me.

On his plans to ruin America: Don’t know if I’ll be getting elected any time in the next century or so. But definitely going after Mayor of LA and at least Governor, but I’ll prob stop at Governor. I mean if people were really pushing for me [to run for President] at that point, I’ll probably have to step into that role.

On the total awesomeness of The Hills: The Hills is the greatest blessing in my life and I know Heidi’s life. The Hills is so much fun. It’s so cool. [I'll keep doing it] until I’m 90 with a cane and a walker.

If you haven’t combusted yet, feel free to check out more from that interview here.

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